What Could Go Wrong?

This morning I leaned my head back in the shower to rinse shampoo from my hair and noticed a single strand of longish, brown hair stuck to the ceiling with steam. The kids and I live in a basement apartment and consequently the ceilings are pretty low, but not low enough for me to simply reach up and remove it. I should have finished my shower, dried off, found a step stool and removed the hair from the ceiling in a safe and sane manner. But that’s not what I did. Where would be the sport in that? No, instead of taking the safe and sane approach, I looked at that hair on the ceiling, reached towards it and jumped, not once, but three times before successfully grabbing it.

The Center for Disease Control reports that there were 234,094 nonfatal mishaps in the bathroom in 2008. Eighty-one percent of injuries resulting from those mishaps were caused by falls and 67% of all the injuries occurred in the bathtub or shower. Also, according to the National Safety Council, one person dies every day in the United States from using the bathtub or shower. I’m only guessing here, but I’d be willing to bet most of those accidents, injuries and deaths occur in the absence of jumping up and down in the shower. And because neither Ben nor Lucy was home during my shower plyometrics, if I had fallen (as the statistics suggests I might have) and been lying unconscious in my still-running shower, there’s no telling how long it might have taken for someone to notice and add mine to the CDC's 2013 tally of bathroom mishaps. 

If you’ve read this far, you might be asking yourself why I’m telling you this bizarre (and let’s face it, unnecessarily long) story. The truth is, I’m testing out a new motto and this weird, little tale sets the stage perfectly. “I’ll drink to that,” “Don’t mind if I do,” and “I blame Justin Bieber,” each served me well, but now I'm thinking, “What could go wrong?” strikes just the right chord.

                                                                                            

So look out, Universe, I have a brand new motto and I’m jumping in with both feet. (No, not into the shower, silly. Didn’t you read the statistics on bathroom mishaps?) Jumping into my life and the exciting possibilities that exist there—even the really scary ones. Oh hell, especially the really scary ones. That’s right. Both feet, baby.

What could go wrong?