When I Grow Up

Ben and I sat together on my bed last night and talked about what he wants to be when he grows up. A completely normal and wonderful conversation to have with a ten-year-old boy, but with a healthy dose of ‘out-of-left-field’—it was a Heagler family conversation, after all.

He thinks he might want to be a professional football player and he spent a lot of time telling me which team he hoped would sign him, based not only on what he predicts their chances of winning a championship during his time on the team to be, but also on whether or not he deems them to be a “talented group of guys.” Never mind that Ben has never played football (or any sport for that matter). Or that any time I've asked if he’d like to try playing a sport he’s declined. Add to all of that the fact that he’d very likely find football particularly difficult given the amount of human contact involved, and what you have is a highly unlikely scenario for what Ben might be when he grows up. No matter, though, because today Ben thinks he has a real shot at being a player in the National Football League someday. Maybe for the New England Patriots (a talented group of guys).

Next he said he might like to own a store instead. “What kind of store?” I asked. “I’d like to own a store that sells stuff that people don’t think is cool, but really is, like suspenders and berets and stuff.” “Stuff that’s so uncool it’s cool?” “Exactly.”


I paused to mull that over for a moment, appreciating the symmetry of this particular idea coming from my Ben. It was then, while I was basking in pride for my son and appreciation for just how incredibly cool he really is, that he admitted conspiratorially that neither professional football player nor the owner of a So Uncool It’s Cool store was his first choice for what he wants to be when he grows up. Apparently, what Ben would most like to be when he’s all grown up is a DJ. In a candy store.

I probably should have seen that coming. After all, he did say in a recent conversation about heroes that his were Neil Diamond and Mr. Peanut.

Come to think of it, during that same conversation, Lucy claimed that Flo from Progressive was her hero.

Maybe now's a good time to check in with Lucy about what she wants to be when she grows up.

I'll get back to you.