Every Girl Needs a Motto

It started with, “I’ll drink to that.” One morning last year my Facebook status read, “I’m going to begin posting ‘I’ll drink to that’ to virtually everything I read on Facebook just to see how long it takes for someone to stage an intervention.” I was looking for work at the time so I was sitting at my computer all day, most every day sending out resumes. For the rest of that day, I posted “I’ll drink to that,” after every, “Janie got an A on her spelling test,” “I’m wiped out after a long day,” and “Tonight is date night with my husband.”

And my first motto was born. It was certainly fitting. I’ve been known to drink a glass of wine (or two) on occasion. OK – who am I kidding – nightly. I used, “I’ll drink to that” for the better part of a year and chuckled damn-near every time. (Sometimes it’s pathetic, really, how much I amuse myself.)

Some time later I began receiving some very flirty attention from a 25-year-old client at work (I’ll drink to that). I was sure at first he was just flattering me – this boy who was born the year I graduated high school – but he was very persistent (and very cute) and I found myself seriously considering embracing my inner cougar. My married friends couldn’t get enough of this little flirtation and more than one of them literally begged me to sleep with him so that they could live vicariously through my experience. It was right around this time that my second motto was born: “Don’t mind if I do.” Coincidence? Probably not.

”Don’t mind if I do,” was so versatile. Another glass of wine? Want to see the dessert menu? Stay a bit longer, laugh a little more, dance one more dance? “Don’t mind if I do.” Sleep with an adorable 25-year-old? I’ll never tell. But admit it – you’d be a little disappointed if I didn’t.

Yesterday I was participating in a funny comment thread on an old friends’ Facebook page. He was lamenting the brevity of the fall season in Colorado when another old friend commented that, like so many other things, it was likely caused by Justin Bieber’s hair. It struck me as so funny that I decided right then and there, “I blame Justin Bieber,” would be my new motto. “Don’t mind if I do” was wearing thin and I’d been thinking for some time about what should be next. My whip-smart and wicked-funny friend’s comment provided just the ticket.

The temptation to blame something or someone other than myself for my (numerous) current difficulties is not overwhelming – honestly it’s not. I’m usually pretty willing to own up to my mistakes, missteps and general shortcomings (I’ve had a lot of practice). But though the temptation to blame isn’t overwhelming, it’s not non-existent either (I am human) so, “I blame Justin Bieber” strikes just the right chord with me. I can indulge my desire to blame and make fun of myself at the same time. Indulgence and self-effacement – two of my very favorite things. It’s a win-win.

“I blame Justin Bieber,” may be the very thing to get me through this difficult time in my life. A good motto, fantastic kids who love me to pieces, plenty of wine and an army of supporters cheering me on. What more could a girl need? Except maybe for this ash tray.

The motto, the kids, wine, supporters and this ash tray. And that’s all I need.

And this remote control…

Oh you get the picture. (And if you don’t, I blame Justin Bieber.)