Bad Mommy Olympics

Last week I sent out the invitations to Ben’s birthday party with no date on them. When I was confessing my blunder to a young co-worker the next day, I told him it didn’t even merit a mention in the Bad Mommy Olympics. That got a laugh.  And a raised eyebrow.  Rob is 25-years-old and engaged to be married this summer. He’s not yet a parent, but is perhaps beginning to think about what that would be like. I’m sure Rob can’t conceive of a time when he’ll laugh at his parenting mishaps with friends or be so brazen as to catalogue those mishaps in a competition aptly named “Bad Mommy Olympics”. He’s young and idealistic. Exactly as he should be.


Most of us step into our role as parent wide-eyed and naive with expectations and standards that are probably unattainable. I think nearly every parent remembers a time before they were parents when they uttered the words, “I’ll never (insert “bad-parenting” example here). I certainly did. But most of us know that when you actually become a parent, you might:

• Feed your child McDonald's
• Use the television as a babysitter from time to time
• Let a child sleep in your bed
• Cook a completely separate dinner for your kids and that dinner might be full of things processed and preserved
• Tolerate some back-talk
• Pause in a bedtime story for a sip of your wine
• Let your child run willy-nilly in a restaurant
• Fail to follow through with threatened consequences 
• Send a child to school in mismatched or dirty clothes. With uncombed hair or unbrushed teeth
• Let them jump on the furniture

You might even yell, or say things you’ll regret.

As parents, we uphold some of our “I’ll nevers” and let others fall in the name of keeping the peace, maintaining our sanity or achieving that elusive harmonious household. We choose our battles. And maybe that is where the true art of parenting lies.  In knowing when to stand firm and when to bend.

I believe that when the “I’ll nevers” start to fall - as they inevitably do - we become the real parents we were meant to be. Letting go of our “I’ll nevers” doesn’t make us bad parents. Letting go of some of those unrealistic expectations and standards leaves room for things that matter more and allows us to become the best parents we can be. Wonderful, amazing, incredible parents (and I’m lucky to know so many). Wonderful in our own ways that have absolutely nothing to do with processed chicken nuggets, a little too much Dora the Explorer or kids who still crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night. Amazing in ways that have everything to do with our heart and soul and with our hopes and dreams for our children.

Incredible in all the ways that matter most.