My Favorite

Last night at bedtime, I told Lucy that I love her and Ben more than anything in the world. Not one to shy away from competition, she quickly asked who I loved more. I told her that while I loved each of them very differently, I loved them both the same amount. “Yeah, but who’s your favorite?” she asked. “You both are, Lucy,” I replied. She seemed satisfied with that and there was silence… for about 30 seconds. And then, “Mom, am I your favorite?”

I sighed deeply, paused for effect and admitted, “Yes, Lucy. You are.”

“Why am I your favorite?”

I told Lucy she is my favorite because I love sewing and gardening and cheerleading with her. Because she’s kind, generous and a good friend. She’s my favorite because she’s helpful and sweet, especially to Ben. Because she’s compassionate and looks out for others. Because she writes “I love you” in the dust on the end tables. Lucy is my favorite because she loves the same books as me and we share them like treasured secrets. She’s my favorite because she’s whip-smart and wicked-funny and coined the terms "Sharpie love" and "pick-me-up hug". Because she puts sundresses on snowmen, builds fairy houses in the garden and sometimes laughs in her sleep. Lucy is my favorite because her love is boundless.

She smiled while I talked and looked content and proud. She hugged me when I was done, then pulled back, looked in my eyes and said, “Is Ben your favorite too?” “You bet he is, Lu.”

Ben is my favorite because he alphabetizes my CDs flawlessly, makes the most incredible playlists and shares my love of music. Because he’s braver than almost anyone I know. He’s my favorite because he’s tenacious, hard-working and cares about “getting it right”. Because his mind and his soul are complicated, unpredictable and truly beautiful. Ben is my favorite because he gets as much joy from a friends’ success as he would his own. He’s my favorite because he’s affectionate, sweet and guileless. Because he has a list of all his stuffed animals and their birthdates taped inside his closet, but you would only know it’s there if you stepped all the way inside and turned around. Because he loves kickball, hip-hop dancing and Mad Libs. Ben is my favorite because his spirit lights up a room.

When I was finished, I hugged Lucy again, told her good night and “I love you all the time,” and started to leave. As I was closing her door she called after me, “Mom, you’re my favorite.”

“How come?” I asked.

“Because you know all the most important stuff about me.”

“Like what, Lu?”

“Like exactly how much to close my door so that the Barbie Early Warning System works.”

I smiled and blew her a kiss. That’s a great reason, Lucy. Sleep tight.