Do Girls Fall For This?

On a recent girls' night out with my dear friend, Melissa, we were enjoying tasty cocktails at a swanky bar when we encountered a little unwelcome attention.

A guy sat down next to us and almost immediately inserted himself into our conversation. His accent was Australian, but we pretty quickly determined he was not. Little did this idiot know that Melissa had spent six months traveling in Australia after graduating from college. I have to give him credit for staying in character, though - Australia was his story, and he was sticking to it, no matter how many times Melissa tripped him up on his lack of knowledge of all things Australian.

When I went to the bathroom Fake Accent asked Melissa if I was married. Apparently he thought the false identity was something I’d be willing to overlook. And I guess he also thought I’d overlook the fact that he was, at that very moment, waiting for his Match.com date.

She arrived after I returned from the bathroom and Fake Accent turned his attention to her. Obviously, we eavesdropped, but didn’t hear anything more exciting than typical first-date small talk. It seemed like it was going pretty well, so we went back to our cocktails and girl talk. But when Fake Accent’s date went to the bathroom, he got out his cell phone and called a buddy to come take her off his hands. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the buddy actually came.

The poor girl came back from the bathroom and Fake Accent resumed his first-date small talk with her for another 15 minutes or so until his friend arrived. No sooner had the friend sat down and been introduced to Fake Accent’s date did Fake Accent turn his back to them and begin talking to us again.

Fake Accent’s date was no dummy, though. She figured out what was going on and took issue with being passed around like a biker gang’s old lady. She told them both to fuck off, or kiss her ass or something similar and left the bar in a spectacular huff. Then, when both idiots turned their attention to Melissa and me, we followed suit (minus the spectacular huff – it seemed like overkill).

Cheers, Fake Accent and your dipshit friend!