Heagler Bedtime Chronicles - Ben

Every night, once I’ve dislodged myself from Lucy, I head down the hall to say good night to Ben.

My bedtime ritual with Ben is much more… well… ritualistic. It’s the same, night after night, year after year. Ben’s and my bedtime routine varies only in the area of hug vs. no hug and varying degrees of said hug when present. It goes like this:


Me: Good night, Ben.
Ben: Good night, mom.
Me: I love you all the time.
Ben: I love you all the time, too.
Me: You’re a good boy, Ben.
Ben: You’re a good mom.

At the end, there is sometimes a hug. Mostly this is a “Ben style” hug – he stands facing the same direction you are facing, perhaps 12 inches away, with the side of his body in line with the side of your body. He then leans his upper body only towards you, keeping his hips where they are. He stiffly reaches out the arm closest to you while keeping the other firmly by his side. He puts that stiff arm around your shoulder and gives you a little pat. You’ve now been hugged Ben style.

On rare (and wonderful) occasions, however, at the end of the bedtime dialogue, Ben delivers what the Heaglers call a “squeezie hug”. This is a face-to-face two-armed hug with a squeeze. No stiff arms, no struggling to keep distance between the bodies. It is to what the rest of the world refers (I believe) when they use the word “hug”.

Last night Ben surprised me with a squeezie hug right after I said the words “Good night, Ben”. I was completely taken aback, but didn’t skip a beat with the rest of the dialogue because with Ben you have to take your moments as they come. If you make too much of it, that beautiful moment may be lost forever. And what a huge loss that would be.

Did I mention that I love bedtime in the Heagler house?